Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I want to be a doctor, but I don't have enough patience.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

After a short conversation, someone asked me if I was a nerd.
I said I preferred the term "smarter than you".

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.

Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along?

A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough.