Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Pepsi and Coca Cola can't even be in the same restaurant, and we want World peace?

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

The doctor says my cholesterol count is so high that I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same.

I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.