Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Pro tip: Bakeries don't check ID's so you can buy a birthday cake whenever you want!

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.

Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along?

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.