Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.

If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.

I used to fear tall people. Now I look up to them.