Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

They say you are what you eat. In what did I eat anxiety and back problems?

Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.

My body just asked for water and I gave it a mini donut because nobody tells me what to do.

Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those two things are.

It's just not in me to be vegan. Even the thought of a hamburger makes my mouth water.