Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.
Fun fact, Scotland is approximately 50% land. The other half is Scot.
It's faster to say "World Wide Web" than "WWW"
I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app on my phone. Now my battery keeps draining.
Humans are 75% water - basically cucumbers with anxiety.
I'm confused about why landlines have a hashtag. Did Grandma do some Tweeting back in her day?
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