Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.

The doctor says my cholesterol count is so high that I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.

I thought Ariana Grande was a font.