Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My phone dies faster than my motivation.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

It's faster to say "World Wide Web" than "WWW"

Nothing travels faster than light, except bad news in a group chat.

Nothing travels faster than light except your aunt sharing an unverified health article on Facebook.