Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.

They've been treating me like one of the family, and I've put up with it for as long as I can.

Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.

Saw a sign on the front of a store that read "We treat you like family". Yup, not going in there...

Nobody else in my family can preserve food, but I can.

I once lived a stones throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.