Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

How long does it take to get through a labyrinth? A minotaur two.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.

Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.