Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
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I tripped over a box of kleenex this morning. I was worried I sprained my ankle but there was only soft tissue damage.
I was pulled over this morning, and the cop asked if I had a police record. I said no, but I have a Sting CD.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
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