Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I intend to live forever, so far so good.

People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.

Albert Einstein is a great scientist, a good man. But his brother Frank, is a monster.

I've stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

I wouldn't exactly say I'm lazy, but it’s a good thing that breathing is a reflex.