Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
You'd be amazed how often
I'm wrong when people say "guess what?"
1988: Don't get into a car with a stranger
2002: Don't meet people on the Internet
2018: Uber
People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.
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