Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
You'd be amazed how often
I'm wrong when people say "guess what?"
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People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just donβt want to talk.
I got fired from the massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way.
1988: Don't get into a car with a stranger
2002: Don't meet people on the Internet
2018: Uber
People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.
Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
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