Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.

I've always wondered if my recorded call was used for training or quality purposes.

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

The doctor says my cholesterol count is so high that I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.

To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.