Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

My coworkers accused me of having OCD, I immediately put them all in their place...

Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.