Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping.
I can't find a good time machine anywhere. They just don't make them like they're going to.
I've opened three birthday cards and I'm already $150 up. I love being a postman!
Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.
I'm anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma.
It's ok if some people dislike you. Not everyone has great taste.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. Couldn't park anywhere near the place.
My wife left me because I'm insecure. No wait she's back. She just went to get coffee.
To be frank, I'd have to change my name.
I don't believe in child labour; But sometimes they are the only ones who can figure out what's wrong with my computer.