Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I just failed a captcha test 3 times in a row. I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that Iām a robot.
I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I now live in constant fear.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Psychology ā Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
You couldn't handle five minutes in my head.
It's interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
I just changed my relationship status from "left hand" to "right hand"ā¦
Not to brag or anything, but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.