Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I miss the good old days when I used to think T-mobile was a rapper.
Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.
I hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only #1, 3, 5, 7 & 9 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
I've always wondered if my recorded call was used for training or quality purposes.
"Just be yourself". Ok, well I did and now everyone is scared and I need a lawyer.
I saw a group of chickens walking in unison. It was poultry in motion...
Vaping is weird. You walk past a group of guys looking like gangsters but smell like strawberry muffins.
Does anyone know why we have to pronounce the g in longevity twice?
Why don't they have traffic circles/roundabouts in China? Because they cause the drivers to be disoriented.
This Recipe calls for a 1/4 cup of thyme. That's 15 minutes, right?