Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I miss the good old days when I used to think T-mobile was a rapper.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I think I'm emotionally constipated because I haven't given a crap in days.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I think I'm approaching my
"best if used by" date

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Albert Einstein is a great scientist, a good man. But his brother Frank, is a monster.

I've stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.

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