Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Official family troublemaker.
Don't take life too seriously.
You will never get out alive.
I finally found a machine
at the gym that I like:
the vending machine.
The secret of staying young
is to live honestly, eat slowly,
and lie about your age.
I've learned to trust my gut. It may hang over my pants a little, but it still knows things.
You can't change the people around you,
but you can change the people around you.
My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy
Grow up Math. Solve your own problems.
The main difference
between a nudist
and a streaker is speed.
I bought a really nice bag of trail mix.
After my kids got a hold of it,
I now have a really nice bag of raisins.