Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Why do they call it after dark when it's really after light?

They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."

We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

I'm now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.