Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same.

I'm now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.

Someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch them.

The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.

A new study reveals that listening to Queen might be bad for your health. This is due to unusually high mercury content.