Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who's going to do it.

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.