Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

I once had an argument with a pen. It came to a draw.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

I asked a flight attendant how often planes crash. She said "usually just once"

It's very hard to concentrate when I'm in a room full of cookies!

I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.