Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Come over to the dark side...we've got candy.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Why did they call it "the dark ages"? Because there were so many knights.

Why do they call it after dark when it's really after light?

I once entered a weather pun competition. I beat the raining champion.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.