Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm not quiet quitting. I'm loud staying and silently screaming.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

My birthstone is coffee bean.

Adulthood is mostly googling symptoms and reheating coffee.

Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping.

My wife left me because I'm insecure. No wait she's back. She just went to get coffee.