Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.

I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.

I met a depressed bodybuilder today. He had nothing to lift for.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.