Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I feel like getting some work done, so I'm lying down until the feeling passes.

I feel like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.

If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

In a parallel universe people use Chrome to download Internet Explorer