Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.

People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.

My favorite color is purple. I like it more than blue and red combined.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

Insurance companies are warning that if your tent is stolen while camping, you won't be covered

Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.