Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.

Saying 'let me check my schedule' when you know full well you have nothing going on.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

what's the best way to fight capitalism? only use lowercase letters.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.