Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I finally realized I'm a morning person. I love mornings. 11 a.m. is my favorite.

Monday morning coffee is just survival juice.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.

If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.