Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.

My birthstone is coffee bean.

Adulthood is mostly googling symptoms and reheating coffee.