Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people's minds. Then I got Facebook.
If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.
I used to fear tall people. Now I look up to them.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.
I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.
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