Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music.

Reality called, so I hung up.

I lost the volume control knob on my antique radio. I keep checking the Lost and Found to see if anything turns up.

In reality, plants are actually farming us, by giving us oxygen daily, until we eventually decompose, so they can consume us.

I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?

Couch potatoes should occasionally check under their cushions. You never know what might turnip!