Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

Whoever determined a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.

Someone stole my bike. I called the cops and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.