Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I don't always post on Facebook, but when I do, it's probably a picture of food.
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You're so vain. You probably think this post is about you.
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Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.
I got 47 happy birthday posts on Facebook and zero actual phone calls. Living the dream.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.
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