Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I was going to have alligator for dinner but realized I only had a croc pot.
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I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning.
what's the best way to fight capitalism? only use lowercase letters.
If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
I've stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
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