Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The audacity of laundry to exist every single week without fail.
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Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
If a man said he'll fix it, he'll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.
Day 44 without eating an apple... doctors are following me everywhere. the police are powerless to intervene.
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