Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Just between you and me, I think "everything" bagels are making a lot of promises they can't keep.

God created the world. Everything else is made in China.

Remember, if you can't say something nice, make it funny.

You can't believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.