Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I haven't been skiing in years. My technique is going downhill fast.

UNO is the number one game in the world.

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.