Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I can always tell when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. I can also tell if they are standing.

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I've missed my exit.

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