Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I'll forget the brownies in the oven.
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.
My friend's Bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel by now.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
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