Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Brain: I can see you’re trying to sleep. Can I offer a selection of your worst memories?
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My brain: Go to sleep. Also my brain: Remember that thing from 8 years ago? Let's think about it for 3 hours.
My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
What do you call a sleep walking Nun? A Roman Catholic
I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep. It's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
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