Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch them.

Whoever determined a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.

War doesn't determine who's right—it determines who's left.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.