Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
I changed my bathroom's name to "The Jim" so I can tell everyone I go to the gym every morning.
Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.
I've stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
If a man said he'll fix it, he'll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
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