Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
After careful consideration, manufacturers are not going to make yardsticks any longer.
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I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.
After a short conversation, someone asked me if I was a nerd.
I said I preferred the term "smarter than you".
The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.
A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately after you die.
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