Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could have done for him.

If a man said he'll fix it, he'll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.

Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it.

I am pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have a whole set.