Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

Someone stole my bike. I called the cops and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

Someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch them.