Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I tried to take a high resolution picture of a wheat field but it came out grainy.

Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!

Life is short. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Take the trip.

Don't take life too seriously.
You will never get out alive.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.